FF: Sharon Ashwood’s Lore auditions for Cinderella!

** Today on Dark Faerie Tales Kevin Hearne’s Oberon explain us why all fairy tales would be better if he were part of it – you could also win a copy of Hammered! **

Sharon couldn’t imprison herself in just one fable and decided to include a few in her story, let me tell you, it’s quite entertaining! Lore got me falling for him! 

Hellhounds and Glass Slippers

When we heard there was a chance for one of our characters to participate in a fairy tale, we at the Dark Forgotten series jumped right on it and sent the hero of FROSTBOUND down to casting.  Lore’s a natural as the handsome prince and then some—dependable, honourable, honest, a natural leader, and the go-to guy for everything from leaky plumbing to world peace. He rescued his people from servitude and then walked right back into hell to bargain for the stragglers. On top of that, he’s totally hot. What’s not to like?

The good folks at casting was ecstatic, but there was one drawback. He’s a hound dog. Well, hellhounds are half-demon, and sometimes he’s a really bad dog.

Not that he’s hairy 24/7—shapeshifters go on two or four feet as they please, but there were a few problems when it came to a part-time canine left in charge of a glass slipper. For one thing, crystal slingbacks are not great chewing material.

<Excerpt from Lore Screen Test>

Casting Director:  Your name, please

Lore:  Lore, Alpha of the hellhounds

C.D.:  Hellhounds?

Lore:  Paws. Teeth. We punish the guilty and escort the dead to the realms below. Cross us and there will be the munching of bones. Connect the dots, human.

C.D.:  Ooookay. I get the picture. Well. We did ask for charisma. Dark hair. Physically fit. A bit broody, though. So, thanks for coming out for the screen test.

Lore:  My aim is to serve.

C.D.: Good to know.  We were thinking of someone, y’know, at bit smaller. A bit less, um, intense. Don’t get me wrong. You’ve got lots of presence. But maybe for a different film, like if Vin Diesel isn’t available. You’re, what, six-five?

Lore:  Heavy-duty job, heavy-duty chassis.

C.D.:  Yeah, right. Whatever. I suppose costuming could work with that, but … excuse me, Mr. Lore? Would you please come back here?

Lore:  What’s with the bluebirds? Are they on happy drugs or something?

C.D.: They’re emoting. They’re singing joyous songs. It’s a rehearsal for the fairy tale next door. Stop chasing them. We’re not casting for Lassie.

Lore:  They’d better not emote on my ride.  I just had it washed.

C.D.:  (sighs) Have you read your script?

Lore:  No, not yet. (reading) Cinderella. I’m the prince?

C.D.:  Not exactly.

Lore:  A wolf, then?  This is a mash-up with Red Riding Hood? 

C.D.:  Nope. Mr.—uh—Lore. I think they sent you the wrong script.

Lore:  (reading) Oh, no way!

C.D.: You see the problem.

Lore:  I break heads. I eat bad vampires. I do not do pumpkins and mice … and sugar pink would not be my choice for a ball gown.

C.D.: Great. I’m never going to get that picture out of my brain.

Lore:  And about the wicked stepsisters. They are cruel and evil. Is there bondage involved?

C.D.:  That’s between you and your fairy godmother.

Lore:  Hm. And this dude is supposed to fondle my feet?

C.D.:  Just … don’t go there.

Lore:  If he touches my feet, I’ll bite his happy ending and hand it to him on a plate.

C.D.:  You know … I’m just not seeing the chemistry here.<end of screen test excerpt>

As stated above, we were requested to submit a fairy tale featuring one of our characters. This was sadly not a success, particularly when our hero discovered Snow White, who was starring in a nearby feature, was in distress. After battling through an army of short whistling people in floppy caps, Lore whisked Snow to Fairyland where she is making a complete recovery. Unfortunately, none of that was in the script. The prince, currently unemployed, is beginning a series of talk show appearances.

We at the Dark Forgotten apologize for the condition of the Wicked Queen’s castle.  Although we cannot comment on specifics due to the law suit pending, rumour has it that Lore took the poisoned apple incident personally.  The magic mirror is said to be launching a civil action.

The dwarves are still in therapy.

(Cinderella from Disney’s Year of a Million Dreams Campaign, photograph by Anne Leibovitz.)

I guess it just wasn’t mean to be, but thankfully Lore is just perfect for Frostbound, the fourth book in the Dark Forgotten series!

As a snowstorm locks down the city, more than the roads are getting iced. Someone’s beheaded the wrong girl, and vampire-on-the-lam Talia Rostova thinks it was meant to be her. Now she’s the prime suspect in her own botched murder—and the prisoner of her smoking-hot neighbor.

Lore is a hellhound, bred to serve and protect, so he’s not freeing Talia until he’s sure that she’s the prey and not the hunter. You’d think a beautiful woman in his bedroom would be a good thing, but trouble-prone Talia has run afoul of someone more sinister than your average lunatic killer. An ancient Undead is wreaking vengeance on the city—and on her—and Lore will have to go far beyond a stake to put him back in his grave . . .

Read an excerpt

Purchase: Amazon | Book Depository

If you want to see for yourself, well here’s your chance!

Sharon is offering a copy of Frostbound to one lucky commentator!

• Open INTERNATIONALY
• to enter, Leave a comment letting me know what you think of the story.

You can earn one (1) extra entry for spreading the word, please provide a link in a second comment

Tweet: #FantasticFables Read @SharonAshwood ‘s Lore audition for CInderella | Win Frostbound http://www.tyngasreviews.com/2011/08/ff-sharon-ashwoods-lore-auditions-for.html | @penguinusa #giveaway PLZ RT

Ends September 7th, 2011.

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Sharon Ashwood is a free-lance journalist, novelist, desk jockey and enthusiast for the weird and spooky. She has an English literature degree but works as a finance geek. Interests include growing her to-be-read pile and playing with the toy graveyard on her desk. As a vegetarian, she freely admits the whole vampire/werewolf lifestyle fantasy would never work out, so she writes paranormal romances instead.

Sharon lives in the Pacific Northwest and is owned by the Demon Lord of Kitty Badness.

 

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